“Dark Night of My Soul”…

What follows here is a video reflection – in word and music – on the “Dark Night” I’ve been through. Like so many millions of people, I have battled depression and loneliness over the past months. At times, my prayers have seemed muffled into silence – so much so that I gave up praying. For me, the darkest part of the night happened three weeks ago. Only now is light returning.

I felt the strong need to express all of this in my words (and those of the hymn writers I’ve quoted) and in my music (I simply allowed my fingers and feet to roam at the organ console). This is what came together…

“The Last Sunlight” – 0:00 – The last moments before the world falls apart and our lives are turned upside down. A blissful unawareness of what awaits us. How we would love to have those moments back.

The music: My own improvisation.

“Bracing for Darkness” – 1:48 – The first word comes that something’s not right, but it’s a world away. We put it in the back of our mind and go as though it won’t come near us.

The music: My own improvisation.

“A Dark and Lonely Valley” – 4:18 – An old, familiar hymn (‘Pass Me Not, O Gentle Savior’) begins to pass our lips as the darkness envelops us. But, even as we try to sing, our words are muffled as soon as they pass our lips. In the darkness we finally sense we are alone. The familiar hymn tune begins to warp. The timing is off. Strangeness and loneliness become our new normal.

The music: My improvisation on ‘Pass Me Not, O Gentle Savior’…

Pass me not, O gentle Savior,
Hear my humble cry,
While on others Thou art calling,
Do not pass me by.
Savior, Savior, hear my humble cry;
While on others Thou art calling,
Do not pass me by.

Let me at a throne of mercy
Find a sweet relief;
Kneeling there in deep contrition,
Help my unbelief.
Savior, Savior, hear my humble cry;
While on others Thou art calling,
Do not pass me by.

Thou the Spring of all my comfort,
More than life to me,

(continued in the comments section)...